Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Right Time

Is it a typical behavior for women of child-bearing age, women perhaps that are edging towards 30, past the age they had imagined themselves doing some of the things they’d been dreaming about for most of their lives? The behaviors I’m referring to came to light during our (my fiancĂ© of almost 2 years, all of our pets and me) recent move.

While packing at the old house I had to make those vital “to keep” or “to toss” decisions. There was some definite hesitation before I slipped the stack of bridal magazines into the paper recycling bag. They represented at least $40 worth of ideas and released a plume of dust as they settled. I told myself that the dresses would be out of style by the time we got around to getting married. And yet, there seemed something so final about it.

In another room I slid a pair of denim overalls into a duffel bag. I’d never worn them because I firmly believe that the only time adults should ever wear overalls is when they are pregnant. But what really drove home the point was how I kept finding a little pink baby dress here and there that I would tuck into bags and boxes. They were all things that my mom had saved from my own days as a baby and had been filtering to me slowly over the past couple of years.

And so I tell myself this is the typical behavior of a woman who has had to put her dreams on hold for the time being, until the cards all fall into place, while a voice inside her head worries about what will happen if they never do. Is this the hope chest of the present day culture? Of late marriages, frequent job changes, and an increase in personal bankruptcies? Are there other women out there waiting for the “right time?”


Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

Aiee--this post brought tears to my eyes. I felt that way when I was young, but I did manage--as you know, of course--to have two children, though later than most women my age were having them then. And a third unexpected child in my late 50s--not by birth of course.

My father always used to say, "You have to take the bull by the horns," and of course, that always annoyed me. So I won't say it. I'm not quite sure how it applies here anyway. Instead, I can only say:

I hope if children are something you want, you can have them, and if a meaningful carreeer is something you want, you can CREATE or find one.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

Hmm, interesting post, I'd forgotten this one. Came here to leave a comment to let you klnow I can't get onto Gmail and don';t have your gmail address on yahoo.

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