Holiday Dinner with Friends

Yesterday we celebrated the holidays with a group of close friends. The people in this particular group are interconnected in a variety of ways, both old and new. Three of us went to high school together. Three work together and are union brothers. Three others work together in a less formal way.

The afternoon was spent cooking and talking in the kitchen, then snacking on cheeses and olives before moving to the main course around a simple table that easily accommodated all eight of us. We were so full that we barely had room for the fabulous desserts. I still managed to consume an obscene number of Oreo cookie truffles.

focaccia bread

just about to dig in

It was an afternoon and evening filled with laughs and old stories, good company, and great food... the perfect way to celebrate the holidays.

Forced Socializing

I am no longer the social butterfly I once was. I did a lot of partying in college and during my Florida years.  I loved going out to bars and house parties. These days... not so much.

I prefer to stay home or to go out to dinner with just my husband. I have no use for bars (they are usually too loud and almost always uncomfortable, whether I stand or perch on a bar stool). I hate being forced to make small talk.

Unfortunately for me, my husband is the most social person on the planet. He thrives in situations where he is surrounded by people, especially if they are all paying attention to him. I think he was a rock star in another life. He loves getting together with groups of friends. The more, the merrier.

This coming weekend will be a trial for me (no, optimism is NOT my forte). We are going to a one bedroom "camp" on a big lake to the north with two other couples. I would much rather stay home and read my books and go for my walks. Instead I will spend the weekend riddled with anxiety, wishing I was anywhere else but there.

Spontaneous, me?

Spontaneous or even fun are not words that can normally be used to describe me. I'm usually pretty serious, sarcastic, and predictable (stuck in my ways?). All of that changed, at least for one night, this past week.

Less than 24 hours before the concert in question an old friend called with an extra ticket. I hadn't seen him in years, and I hadn't gone to a show with him since 1996. I called my boss and begged off work. At the show I rediscovered music I've loved for almost half of my life. I also was reminded that I can have great fun if I just let myself (even while completely sober!). It was also amazing how comfortable I felt with him after all these years. I am far from easy-going and unfamiliar people and settings tend to make me feel tense, but there was none of that on this night.

It was, by far, the most fun and best time I've had in a long, long time.

On Yoga and Friendship

This morning I went to my first ever yoga class. I went with a woman that was one of my temps this past busy season. She and I have been slowly developing a friendship. We were chatty at work, but it's different translating that into a real bond of friendship. I find her a fascinating, generous, and intelligent person and hope that we continue to get closer.

I was a little nervous and anxious at the start of class. I was perhaps overly concerned with getting the poses "right," but it was a beginners class in the first week of a new session so there were other novices present. I liked it quite a bit! I wasn't sure if I would, so I'd paid the drop-in fee as opposed to signing up for the entire six-week session. Of course now I'm quite tempted to go buy my own mat and sign up for the whole thing.

Saturday With a Friend

Yesterday I drove one major city to the west to visit my friend, Crunchy Forester. We didn't have any big plans for the day, it was just about seeing each other and spending time together. We went out for a delicious lunch at a crepe place, went to the mall (a place we both hate) to return a sweater she'd received and buy a gift for another celebration I'll be attending later in the week. We got coffee and then dinner. Mostly we talked. And talked. And talked. We talked about the old days and what all our college pals are doing now. We talked about the future, as it is even more uncertain than usual. She might be moving to another state, even further away. We talked about boys and relationships.

And when it was past the time I usually nod off on the couch, we hugged goodbye and I drove the hour and a half home. It was a day well spent.

Enough Snow!

Seriously. Enough already with the snow. In the past few days I've shoveled the driveway, had it plowed, had the neighbor across the street volunteer to snowblow it for me (thank you!!!), and had FF do it another time.

Which brings us to Sunday night when FF was snowblowing. I was at the bottom of the driveway waiting for him to finish his pass so I could run by up to the house. The snowblower stopped throwing snow and, as I've seen him do a thousand times, FF moved around the machine and reached into the arm. From where I was standing I could see the blades were still turning. Time moved into slow motion and in that moment I knew something awful was about to happen. Then he was screaming and I was running. I counted five fingers still attached, wrapped the bleeding hand in a clean towel, and we took off for the ER. He ended up with 8 stitches and a fractured finger tip. It could have been much, much worse.

I know, and he knows, that what he did wasn't the smartest thing, but if one more person tells me how stupid he was, I will scream. I feel guilty because it was my driveway and my snowblower. He can't work for a minimum of three weeks! I have to say that I stayed calm and never freaked out. I'm kinda proud of that.

I actually did something this weekend!

My good friend and college roommate was home visiting family, so I drove one city west of me to spend the day with her. We talked, got crepes for lunch, visited some friends from college to meet their children, got coffee drinks (nutella latte!), and walked along the canal. In college, she would often bring "cow cookies" back to our apartment after school breaks. These were, by far, the best cookies ever. As we headed back to her father's house, I mentioned the famous cow-shaped cookies. Was the dairy nearby? It was, and they had one more cow cookie in stock. She graciously let me have it, and I snarfed the whole thing by myself. I wonder if they would ship some to me?

Not only do I love spending time with her, but the town she grew up in is a delight. It has lots of independently-owned shops and restaurants and lots of walking trails. It's a perfect place to spend the day with a good friend.

Rail Trail to the North

Yesterday evening Birding Friend and I drove up to a rail trail. She'd been there in the past during the bird-a-thon and was anxious to get out one more time before starting a second job. I'm always open to finding new places to walk, especially if someone else is driving. It was a nice wide, flat, straight path that we walked for about three miles.

She pointed out bird calls and I showed her different ferns (cinnamon, interrupted, royal, and sensitive). I spied a muskrat just as it slipped into the water. The few ATVs we saw were driven at reasonable speeds by courteous individuals. It would be a nice spot to walk with the dogs or ride a bike, but with the high gas prices it's not exactly practical.

I am always wishing that we had a more extensive trail system in my area, so it brings me pleasure to find a rail trail somewhat nearby. To see if there are any near you, visit TrailLink.

It does serve a purpose.

I just got back from a nice long lunch spent on "the beach*" catching up with two classmates from high school. One I haven't seen since we were both wearing caps and gowns, and the other who I've only seen once- at our 10 year reunion. We talked about wives and children and houses and careers. Oddly enough we're all at the same institution of higher learning, although each in a different degree course (JD, PhD, & MS). It was lovely catching up, and I genuinely hope to see them again, preferably without waiting another 14 years.

As it turns out, Facebook has benefits that extend above and beyond throwing sheep (which I enjoy).

*No, I did not just move to a seaside resort. The Beach is a nickname for a portion of a street near Hometown U. It used to be more grassy, but these days it tends toward the cement.

Murphy's Law

Things that you don't want to happen when your best friend from Colorado is visiting for one afternoon:

• steady, heavy rain - I'd been hoping to go to Pretty Color Lake or Small Glacier Lake for a nice walk. We settled for wandering around campus and the cemetery in the rain (which turned out to be rather nice after all).
• having to run to the bathroom multiple times while on campus - "Uh, why don't you wait here in the hall while I pop into the bathroom. Again." Not fun.
• two huge zits - Since I went back on the pill in March my skin has been much improved. I'm blaming the oral presentation I had to give in class on Monday night for the eruption of these two monstrosities. Needless to say, between the rain and the zits, not so many photos were taken.

You know your friendship rocks when none of this matters though, as long as you're together.

Email Question

When I receive an email from a friend or otherwise I try hard to answer all questions and pose additional ones if relevant. It seems as though this is not the common practice. My friends often ignore my questions altogether. Should I assume that the topic doesn't interest them or that they simply can't be bothered? Or is this technique normal, and I'm actually the odd man out with my behavior?

Splat!

After reading yet another article and writing a short "reaction" paper about it, I decided I'd better get out of the house for a while this afternoon.

Old Phish Friend, who I haven't seen since we had dinner at the end of April, was playing in a paintball tournament at Polluted Lake Park. His team had played and won two games yesterday and their final game of the season was today. I was curious, knowing nothing about how this semi-professional sport was played. And besides, if it was a bust, I could always go for a walk and head home.

I got there several minutes before the game started and sidled up to the field. I couldn't tell which team was our Hometown team, let alone which of the masked individuals was OPF. I finally asked a nice looking older couple if they knew the players (their rooting and cheering had lead me to believe they were one of our player's parents). They told me how to identify OPF by the color of his mask and that they'd let me know when he came on the field. After the first half they brought me down to the other end of the field since the teams switch sides. I'd have been completely lost without their guidance.

It was unexpectedly fun. The points were short, the action was exciting. The only disappointment was that OPF played less than half of the points. I hadn't expected that the team would be so big. Nor had I expected to see women playing too, but there was at least one on the Hometown team.

Unfortunately our Hometown team lost. When it was over, I went for a walk along the lake and enjoyed seeing all the dogs taking their owners for walks.

Bullets of Boredom at Work

• I finished The Secret Garden, but I should've waited to read it until spring was actually here. Like in July. My poor snow-covered daffodils.
• Now I am reading Happiness Sold Separately, by Lolly Winston. Naturally, it is about a married couple that are having problems and considering divorce.
• The book I read before The Secret Garden was also about a woman who had (temporarily, as it turned out) left her husband. I think it might be time to read some mysteries. They are rarely emotionally taxing. Or relevant to my life.
• I have yet to acquire an estimate for the work that needs to be done on the exterior of my house (replacing trim and siding). FF has promised to make some phone calls on my behalf this afternoon.
• The only thing holding up my mortgage at this point is that estimate.
• I am really, really sick of having a dumpster in my driveway. And I'm sure the neighbors aren't all that thrilled either. But we were holding onto the dumpster for use with the construction.
• When I'm bored I tend to eat for lack of anything else to do. Unfortunately, I have no cash on me and therefore cannot raid the vending machine. That leaves me with one granola bar until 5pm. I may have to resort to adding a few drops of water to a hot cocoa packet and eating the resulting paste with a spoon.
• If I get really desperate I could eat one of those nasty Peeps a co-worker brought in. I keep poking them, but could I actually eat one? Ick.
• I found and contacted yet another old friend via My Space. I can't seem to recall having hung out with him since we went to a PHISH show in Buffalo in October of 1996. Can it really have been that long? If so, it's been nearly that long since we've even talked or emailed.
• Was that the last PHISH show I went to? Apparently I can't remember. Either way, it was a good one and we had kick ass seats.

Music & Memories

For lack of anything real to blog about, I've been thinking recently about songs or artists that I tend to associate with a particular person or time in my life. Some examples:

• Bob Marley & The Tragically Hip - the summer of Seth, after my sophomore year of college
• Pearl Jam & Soundgarden - Matt from high school. I had the biggest crush ever on him. We went to see the movie Singles together, and he was my first kiss.
• Blink 182 & Nine Inch Nails - Anthony, a Navy boy from my time in Florida. He was the exact reason why people warned me to stay away from the Navy boys. Bad news.
• Moxy Fruvous - Jenny, she introduced them to me. And took me to see a bunch of their shows. So much fun.
• Barenaked Ladies, Gordon - Brian, the life guard captain I dated in Florida. I was listening to that CD obsessively during the time we dated. I was also warned away from the lifeguards, but he was a really good guy.
• Garth Brooks - all my college pals. Imagine drinking and singing along. One of the bars we went to every week would even play one of his songs every week just for us. Good times. Bad dancers.
• Jimmy Buffett - Amy, my best friend from high school. She owned every CD he ever released. We went to one of his concerts together where I had my picture taken with some random guy in a coconut bikini.

I haven't gotten hooked on the ipod craze yet, but sometimes I can definitely see the appeal.

What are the odds?

I stopped for gas last night and as I pulled back onto the road, I thought the guy in the car in front of me looked familiar. Like a friend of mine from high school that I keep in touch with via the afore mentioned My Space. I knew he was due to visit the area, although I thought not until next week.

But this morning I found a message from him asking if it was me or my doppelganger he'd seen driving to Hometown yesterday.

Last time we got together was six years ago when we had a nice dinner at a local middle eastern restaurant and talked for hours. He's one of those people that seems like he's changed a lot since high school (the tattoos and singing for a heavy metal band, etc.), but is really the same Eagle scout at heart.

Guess I should have waved.

Pros and Cons

I would agree with the commonly held opinion that My Space is a little hinky. People just don't use their brains. They put personal information on their pages that can get them in trouble with work or school. It's definitely a meat market too. People can see where you live if you provide the details, and then you get messages asking if you want to hang out (or worse). Then there's the local bands and bars looking for free advertising.

All the cons aside, I do have a page and I do enjoy browsing around from time to time. I like that you can be a bit voyeuristic without actually interacting with someone unless you want to. And I'm nosy. I like checking up on people I knew 10 years ago.

But I'm not one of those people with 685 "friends." I only add someone if I know them. I've reconnected and stayed in touch with old friends and kept tabs on others. For the most part, it's been limited to people that I have had at least casual communications with over the years.

This past weekend though, I got a message from someone I'd gone to high school with. It's been over 12 years since we've been in touch and longer since we've seen each other. He was someone that meant a great deal to me in high school, and I was thrilled to hear from him.

He's a single dad to two little girls, which is hard to reconcile with the boy who would drive by my house and honk the same pattern just to say hi. Or the boy who mocked me for wearing Birks with no socks at football games when it snowed. Or the boy who stuffed me behind a jukebox when a brawl broke out at the bar he'd taken me to when I was 17.

How did it happen that we're not kids anymore?