Waiting

My classes are over. My finals are a thing of the past. I am not walking in the ceremonies this weekend. I am waiting for my grades to post. I need to see them posted on-line to know I did well enough. Well enough for this whole grad school experience to be behind me. Two years of stress, exhaustion, and very little in the way of pleasantness. It feels anti-climatic. I need some sort of closure. I need someone to say that I am officially done. I'm waiting for it to sink in.

Please send my diploma quickly.

Day Off

I have today off. Off from work and off from school stuff. I had class this morning, of course, but now that that is done I am taking the rest of the day off. I've taken a handful of days off in recent weeks, but they were all devoted to not-fun things like taking all day essay exams or working on a poster. The poster session is in the past, and I passed my masters intensive exam on the first try. In fact, all that remains of my semester is a one page paper and two final exams. So today I will do nothing school-related.

I picked up some sushi on my way home from class. I adore sushi but am fairly limited in my local selection. Grocery store sushi will suit me just fine for lunch though.

This afternoon I will load the dogs in the car and head to the nearby game management area, where I will try to avoid the scary men that lurk there without accidentally entering restricted areas or getting lost. I've been hiking there for almost two decades, but usually with one parent or another to serve as guide.

Tonight I will watch mind-numbing amounts of TV. And the rest I'll just make up as I go.

Here and Not Here

I don't cope well with stress. This is not new information (remember the eye twitch?). My sister could confirm that even overtime at a basketball game is just about more than I can handle right now.

After spending the last two days obsessively surfing the internet for a new hairstyle that will work with my baby-fine, super-straight, limp-ass hair, I decided a glass of wine was in order. As it is a school/work night I will only have the one, but maybe it will slow down the anxious worrywart that is occupying my brain.

Saturday I take two of my three teacher certification exams. On Monday I have a test in one of my two classes. The week after that I have a mid-term and a 10 minute oral presentation. Don't count on seeing too much of me for the foreseeable future, unless I have more than one glass of wine on Saturday night and start drunk commenting. If I do that, please cut me some slack.

One Week Down

My first week of classes this semester was revealing. Both classes meet during the day, instead of for 3 hours one evening a week. I'd forgotten how short one 55 minute class seems. It is unsettling to go to work, then to class, and then back to work, especially since this is peak season at the office. The classes have between 40-70 students each. They are mixed classes of undergrads and grads, a first for me since I started my master's degree. I was amazed and horrified to watch my classmates texting during class. I am embarrassed for them that they think this behavior is acceptable. And do they really think the professor doesn't see them?

The biggest difference between these classes and the ones I've been taking for the last year and a half is that these are science classes, as opposed to education classes. Clearly that is what's been wrong with my classes thus far. This feels so much more RIGHT.

Come May I Will be Happy Again

I am feeling a great amount of hatred towards winter right now. It just keeps coming and coming. Snow, wind, freezing rain, repeat. Every winter I question my decision to move back here from Florida. I really, really hate winter. I'm not trying to sound like a whiner; I'm just trying to convey the facts. I have to say, I hope I don't get stuck here suffering these winters for the rest of my life.

On a different subject, classes start next week. Hopefully, this will be my last semester. Ever. I will be ecstatic if I never have to take another class for the rest of my life. I got fingerprinted yesterday, but I still need to register for my certification exams. But it's my master's intensive exam that terrifies me. An all-day essay exam is my idea of Hell. What ever happened to multiple choice?

Is it May yet?

Cross one more off the list

Today is the last day of this foul class. I am so glad I never have to think about it again (assuming I pass). I hope to do something fun this weekend, but I have a feeling I may just end up crashing on the couch and staring mindlessly at the TV. That and sleeping for as many hours as possible...

This was the last of my general ed requirements. So long, farewell! It's been grand. Not.

Math Already Makes Me Sweat

Class number two of the summer semester has started. I maintain that class is no way to spend the warm summer months. When the temperatures soar above ninety and the humidity turns the air into something that you wear the situation only deteriorates.

A portion of this class is being held at a local middle school that, regardless of the relative wealth of the school district, does not have air conditioning in the classrooms. Seeing as how I do not have AC in my home this is, perhaps, not as taxing on me as my classmates. However, when I am attempting to explain integer subtraction to reluctant soon-to-be eigth graders I think we could all benefit from some cooler temperatures.

This is my first experience with summer school (other than that ridiculous movie), so I was much relieved to see the casual nature of the dress code. I've seen teachers in shorts, tank tops, and flip flops. Now that is refreshing.

I must've been insane.

When did I think I might fit in a walk, let alone three per week? For tomorrow I have a 3-5 page paper to write and 60 pages of blah to read. I know it doesn't sound that bad, but remember... full-time job!

The shuttle bus was much smoother the second time around, but all it took was 3 minutes of attempting to read to bring me to the verge of throwing up. What a waste of time I desperately need. I know, you're wondering what I'm doing blogging if I'm so short on time. Well, I just needed a break from that entirely boring third article. Clearly I won't be making it to articles 4 and 5 tonight.

Also, is it dangerous for my dogs to be eating vast amounts of blanket fuzz? Because it's just about the only thing keeping them semi-entertained.

Back in the Saddle Again

I'm having trouble getting back into the swing of class. It's summertime! My brain is putting up a strong resistance to this folly, and who can blame it? Four and half hours of class every day is a lot. And frankly, it's been pretty dull so far. The readings are also less than stimulating. In fact, the best thing so far is seeing my classmates again and the addition of one who hails from my alma mater. We've been reminiscing and bouncing names of old friends around, although we probably never had many (if any) classes together. She focused on the physiological side of things, whereas I prefer all things plant.

I took the campus shuttle yesterday for the first time. The driver was very friendly and answered my "newbie" questions. I forgot to ask the all-important question regarding the pick-up location on main campus, as the normal locale is behind construction cones and barrels. Hopefully, I can figure it out before tomorrow's return trip (due to a work-related scenario I did not ride the bus today). The stupid shuttle only runs every 40 minutes during the summer, so I will be missing more work than I would prefer. The shuttle is a good first step towards taking the bus to work, although I am still having major issues with the additional hour and half to two hours a day that the bus would require. Think of the poor pups!

I've been working on a paper, but I think I shall call it a night.

I haven't done bullets in a while.

• Class starts Monday. Freedom is in short supply in these parts.
• Esme's ears are now fully erect. They only flop over a little when she sleeps. Mr. Dog's ears never flop, in fact you'd need duct tape to restrain them.
• She is still absolutely insane. That old saying about letting sleeping dogs lie has taken on new meaning. I'll have had her 4 weeks tomorrow. How many more years before she calms down?!
• I watched the first half of The Andromeda Strain Sunday night. It was not a good choice for me to watch when I was home alone after dark, before trying to sleep. I haven't been able to watch the second half yet. I read the book several decades ago. Perhaps I am more whimpy now?
• Last night I happened upon the first three episodes of Start Trek: Enterprise. I never got into that series when it came out, but I'm hooked now. Of course, finding the rest of it in sequential order could take effort. You're not all shocked that I love Star Trek are you? I was a big time TNG fan.
• I haven't been able to do any gardening or yard work. I haven't quite found the necessary balance with regards to Esme and well, the rest of my life. Vacuuming has also gone by the wayside.
• Needless to say, I am concerned how I'll manage my schoolwork and what has already been described as intensive reading assignments. I guess four weeks wasn't quite long enough to assimilate her into my life.
• I haven't managed my goal of four walks per week either, so with class starting I guess I will admit defeat and lower the goal back down to three.
• I've also been suffering from some sort of food crisis. I don't like to cook, and I don't like to spend money on food. I will go to the store and buy the bare minimums and then be desperately unhappy the next time I want to eat. I end up eating chips & salsa for dinner. Or croutons. Directly from the bag. I don't know what the solution is.
• I decided to try not wearing mascara to work today. And you know what? The world did not end. I may be on to something here.

Done. For now.

I finished the last thing for this semester this morning. I expected to feel elated. I get a whole month off! Instead I feel dejected and over-wrought. A chocolate cake or a big ol' margarita would not be out of line.

The oral exam/exit interview/paper defense this morning was a bit rougher than I'd expected. I'd rather someone just give me a bad grade than sit there and tell me to my face how much I suck. It felt neither productive nor constructive. Clearly I'm too sensitive.

Now I have one month to go for walks, read books, and garden before it starts all over again.

Sunday Night Whine

I spent all of this lovely day inside, working on my laptop. My back hurts from hunching over it, and I didn't even get anything completely done. I worked on this, and I worked on that. I didn't work on that other thing though.

Tomorrow morning in class I am supposed to share 12-15 minutes of video of me teaching. Unfortunately when I tried the VCR, it was dead. So I haven't even watched my video. I know, I shouldn't have waited until the last minute, but I really don't like the idea of just putting the thing in and pressing play tomorrow. Crap. I'm not sure I can get out of it though, considering class only meets two more times after tomorrow and my professor is gone for one of them.

I am so ready for this semester to be over. I can't believe it's almost May. This weather is adding to my overall confusion and not helping me stay on task. Is it bad that I am just aiming to achieve the minimum grade-wise? I'm not sure I've ever been what you'd call a high-achiever. Well, except maybe in French. I always wanted to kick ass in French...

Can you say spread too thin?

I think I may have hit the wall for this semester. I can't find enough hours in the day to get done what I need to get done. I'm completely and totally exhausted all of the time. All I want to do is sleep and for a really long time.

I can't believe I have three more semesters of this. I have to go lie down.

What a week!

I taught the last three days and videotaped myself teaching the last class each day. It's a requirement for my program, but I don't think I'll be watching the tape before I hand it in. I can't even stand to hear a recording of my voice, to say nothing of seeing myself in action.

On Tuesday evening I skipped class and attended a symposium where I went to two workshops and enjoyed a lecture by Moss Woman (one of my undergraduate professors). She is a wonderful public speaker and continues to inspire respect and admiration from me. The vegetable lasagna was pretty good too.

I'm relieved that the kids have a four day weekend, so I can take a mini break from teaching. I still have plenty of work to do this weekend, including a paper (I really ought to check the syllabus to see what the details of that are) and prep work for next week. But I think I may take the night off tonight and catch up on some Law & Order.

(Aside to Momma Val, I found a link for acronyms which you can find in the comments on the last post. Hope that helps!)

First Robin

After I watched a couple hours of TV this morning, I got cracking. I wrote six pages (double-spaced) of the paper I have due on Tuesday. I haven't done all of what I was supposed to do for the research, but I find the class and the professor to be a complete waste of my time. It should be a good class but due to professorial incompetence I am getting nothing out of it besides a weekly headache and extreme rage.

In the early afternoon Dog and I drove to a nearby neighborhood that has paved walking trails that are kept plowed. Although much of the snow in my own sunny, hill-top yard had melted over the past few days, the snow was still six inches deep in Nearby Neighborhood presumably because of the plethora of trees. As we neared the end of our 45 minute walk I spied my first robin of the season!

I then headed to the evil mall to go to a single store where I had cashback from my credit card to spend. I found the elusive black cardigan I've been hunting for for years. I really hope it works out because I really, really want to get rid of the short, stretched-out, full of pulls, old, faded excuse of a black cardigan I have now.

More schoolwork tomorrow. Probably more TV, but definitely not more mall.

Two Things

I'm starting to get anxious about teaching on Monday. It's only 35-40 minutes of teaching, but I have two particular concerns:

1. We're teaching grades K-6, which is quite a bit younger than the 7th-12th graders I'm used to. It's been almost 10 years since I worked with these age groups as a camp counselor, which was a different animal altogether.
2. We will be video taped and probably miked. The video camera alone is enough to turn me into a fast-talking, sweaty individual, but having a microphone on my chest to catch my every last mutter and grumble makes me even more nervous.

I know I need to get used to the video camera, as that will become a familiar sight over the next several semesters. It's a little odd because I've always enjoyed having my picture taken, but a video camera pointed in my direction has always immobilized me. Any advice on how to get over that?

Consumerism and Classwork

Because I know you all are desperately waiting to hear how much of my school work I got done...

I finished the longer of the two books I mentioned in the last post. You know, the book I had one week to read. I skimmed the chapter, which turned out to be really short (and really boring). Don't ask me what it was about. And I started my unit plan, which now contains five lesson plan rough drafts. They are incomplete, but it's a start. Thank goodness for the internets.

Yesterday I didn't leave the house. I didn't change out of my comfy clothes. I didn't even shower. By this morning I was itching to get out of the house, so I headed to Target (and yes, I showered first). I hadn't been there in several months (before Thanksgiving!) since I'm trying to keep my consumerism in check. I needed colored index cards for the lesson we're teaching next week. It took me a good eight minutes to find them. I went up and down the school supply aisles about 47 times. Apparently, index cards are not a hot commodity these days. After that, I took my sweet time picking up some necessities and looking for the elusive black cardigan that I've been hunting for for years (no luck).

After stretching the Target excursion for as long as reasonably possible, I headed back home for more school work. My back hurts from hunching over my laptop for two straight days. And although I didn't buy it, I saw a bag that I want. It would be perfect for transporting lesson plans and teaching materials to school once I start student teaching. It's certainly more professional than my backpack. So much for avoiding the consumerism; who wants to place bets on how long I hold out before I cave in and buy the darn thing?

Prepare to be bored silly...

The ice storm is over, but some of the ice still remains. It's not as impressive as it was last night when I got home from work to find tree branches that I can normally walk under touching the ground under the weight of the ice. Small branches are down everywhere in my yard, and I can see spring clean-up just got a whole lot more labor-intensive. I'm sure if I were more inclined there would be some good photo-ops, but alas I have to much to do to go wandering about with camera in hand.

I am on page 64 of the 196 page book that I'm supposed to have read by Tuesday night. FYI: assigning a whole book to be read in one week is tyranny. We do have other classes and, ya know, lives. (Well, not that I have a life, but I do have a job.) I have another whole book to be finished by Monday. I'm on page 76 of 127 for that one. Plus, there's another chapter in another book that I haven't even bothered to check its length. Because really, does it matter at this point? And to top it all off, the first draft of my unit plan is due on Wednesday. Guess I should start that soon.

Still reading?

Bullets of no time for anything but

• Along with a partner, I am preparing to teach a 30 minute lesson on habitats to elementary school students. Said partner and I met at the library this morning to hash out the initial details. I insisted on meeting at the library at Small Green School because the Hometown University library intimidates me. I wish I could go there more regularly to get work done as I have difficulty focusing when I'm at home (TV to watch! food to eat! blogs to read!), but I don't condone driving an hour round trip unless it's absolutely necessary.
• After our meeting, I went to my office and worked for three hours. Between that and the meeting at the library, I felt better about the drive. I also got free lunch since there was office pizza to munch on.
• I met my host teacher on Thursday morning. There will be no more details forthcoming.
• Other than the fact that I will have the opportunity to teach in the second half of the unit on plants and the first half of the unit on animals. Plants! Yay!
• I will be writing my first ever lesson plan soon. To be included in my first ever unit plan.
  
• In fact, I should be working on that right now instead of blogging.
• I put lotion on my hands every night before bed and yet they are painfully dry.
• My hair has been getting so full of static that it's driving me to the point of distraction. I mean full-fledged freak-out status. I have long, straight, super-fine hair. I don't blow dry or style it. Does anyone have any suggestions to curb the static? (Preferably before I shave my head?)
• That's all. Time to go eat some soup for dinner. Hopefully that will warm me up. Brrrrrh.
  

Only Nine

I had initially registered for 12 credits for the spring semester. Yes, I know that's insane, but I was really trying to stay on schedule with my program. I was already one class behind from having only taken 9 credits in the fall. And as I'm sure you recall from the latter stages of last semester, I didn't cope all that well with 9 credits and a full-time job. I'm sure my grades suffered a little as well. I must fess up to some jealousy of my classmates who are full-time students with no jobs. Of course, I love owning my own home, so that's not worth dwelling on.

After the first meeting of my one elective, I promptly dropped the class. I knew from reading the syllabus and sitting through three hours of a rather dull lecture that the class had to go. I just wouldn't be able to handle all of the work, and clearly the elective was the weak link.

I don't know what the ramifications of this decision will be yet. My graduation may be delayed one semester. Hopefully, my student teaching won't get knocked back. But whatever the consequences, I'm sure I will be better able to deal with them than if I'd gotten so burned out I dropped the whole program.