High Water

Because the rain. It. Never. Ends.

We did manage to squeeze in a nice walk under threatening skies. But still, ENOUGH ALREADY WITH THE FRICKIN RAIN.

Lunchtime Reading

This book is broken into sections for various family members. After reaching the end of the first (and longest?) section from the youngest daughter's perspective, I was feeling disenchanted with the book and set it aside to read the third book in a YA series. When that was done I somewhat reluctantly picked this book back up and launched into the next section about George, the next oldest sibling of four. So far I am enjoying George ever so much more than Amy. I am not feeling overly optimistic about the other two siblings though.

Father's Day

People talk about how hard Father's Day is for those whose fathers have passed away or for those that grew up without a dad in their lives, but you don't see a lot from the single mom's perspective. I fully expected to have a lifetime of holidays and vacations, trips to the grocery store and movie nights, with my husband and child. We talked about having kids for a long time, then we spent 10 months trying to get pregnant, and 9 months being pregnant. That's a long time to anticipate what life will be like after the baby is born.

But then everything changes. Your husband walks out on you, moves in with another woman. Now your son will spend Father's Day with the family of three you envisioned, only you aren't a part of it. And everyone is happy, except you. Not because you want anything to do with the man who left you, but because you're missing out on yet another celebration you expected to be part of. And worst of all, you're missing out on time with your son.

So screw you, Father's Day. Screw you.

Turtle Hike

This past Saturday my sister and our boys went for a hike along one of our regular routes, which we call the "turtle hike" because several years ago we encountered a slew of hatchling painted turtles. It was an exciting hike. This time there were no baby turtles, but we did see four adult turtles (one painted and three snapping) and a bald eagle. The boys did a great deal of rock throwing and we all enjoyed the hike and the time together.

Currently (The Boring Edition)

Drinking: Water or tea. Nothing new here. Maybe if it ever warms up I can treat myself to a Green Tea Frappuccino.

Watching: Now that the regular season has ended for all of my TV shows, I'm catching up on several series that accumulated on my DVR, like Call the Midwife and The Blacklist.

Reading: The Summer We Fell Apart by Robin Antalek. It started out well, but after today's lunchtime reading session I have soured on it and may end up abandoning it altogether. It's such a disappointment when that happens, but what's the sense in torturing myself by finishing it?

Listening: Nothing new here. I still don't listen to much music.

Playing: At the playground. Or watching my son throw rocks in the storm drains.

Saying: "We climb up the stairs and slide down the slide." "Splash!"

Laughing at: My son. He is such a source of joy. I did a little Elaine dance for him the other evening and I've never seen him laugh so hard. I love making him laugh.

Loving: The warm weather and sunshine. I am so ready for summer!

Hating: Not being able to spend more time with my son. This. Always.

What are you up to these days?

A Break in the Rain

I feel like it has been raining every day for weeks and months. Apparently this is the second rainiest spring (the rainiest being 1976) we've ever had. My son has grown weary of his rain suit. I'm having trouble keeping good cheer. It's depressing.

But! This past Saturday we had sunshine and milder temps. We went to the big playground and threw rocks in the lake. I even got to sit down for 30 seconds. It was rather nice.

2017 To-Do List: May

1. Rearrange/clean the family room to make it a usable space 
1. Move books down there to make it a library/family room?
2. Get rid of items we don't use and/or don't like *
1. clothes
2. furniture
3. kitchenware
3. Read at least 24 books - 14/24 **
4. Develop a system to ensure bills get paid in a timely fashion 
5. Hang wall art 
6. Hang some sort of window treatment (curtains? blinds?) in family room COMPLETED - 3/19/2017
7. Blog at least once a week - 21/52 
8. Purchase new bras
9. Purchase new underwear COMPLETED - 2/5/2017
10. Go on a date
11. Go swimming, preferably in a natural body of water
12. Take my son camping in a tent in the woods for at least one night
13. Frame a picture of my son for my desk at work COMPLETED - 1/17/2017
14. Go to the Adirondacks
15. Take my son to the zoo COMPLETED - 1/14/2017
16. Install anti-tip straps on the TV
17. Open a 529 account for my son COMPLETED - 3/8/2017
18. Visit Second Home Nature Center at least once a month - 5/12 ***

* I got rid of a GIANT coffee table that was hogging up space in the garage, as well as one no-longer-in-use baby item by sticking them at the curb with a FREE sign during our community garage sale. I wish I had planned ahead to have more items ready to go. Get out! Get out! I also donated an infant car seat and a few clothes and shoes to an immigrant family. Still a long way to go. Why do I have so much stuff??

** I finished 4 books in May, so I'm definitely on track to make my yearly goal.

*** We went to the nature center twice in May.

Playground Bullies

On one of our many trips to the playground this past weekend, my son had his first exposure to bullying. It unfortunately involved the same non-English speaking family that had previously shared a cookie with him, which left me confused about how best to handle the situation. My guess is that the kids actually speak English, even if their grandma does not.

Our playground is quite small, having only one straight slide and one twisty slide with a tunnel between them. My son has only recently started going down the twisty slide and he's obsessed. He's played with other kids of all ages without any problems, one climbs the stairs, one slides, and repeat. But this time the two kids (age 3ish and 5ish) would not share the slide with him AT ALL. Both of them stood in the little "house" at the top, then one would slide down and immediately climb back up the slide, thus never clearing the house nor slide and never allowing my son the chance to play. They were being very clear and very intentional about their behavior. 

When we first got there I tried to reassure him that all the kids could share and take turns, but it soon became clear they had no intention of doing so and that their grandma had no intention of making them. So my son was left crying on the platform below, saying "His turn" (by which he means his turn and IT WAS) and "need to share" over and over in his sad little two year old voice.

My heart broke in a million pieces. I wanted to throttle those kids. And their grandma. And throw the Oreo they gave my son last time right back in their little bully faces.

What was I supposed to do? Scold them myself? I genuinely don't know. I'm still quite new to the whole playground dynamic, and so I bowed out. Maybe that was the wrong approach because what happens the next time we go and they're there again? Now they know they can get away with their bad behavior. Maybe I will work up the nerve to stand up to them next time. Someone has to.

But my heart was so shattered all I could do was distract my son with the suggestion of throwing rocks in a storm drain up the street. And he still wanted to say bye-bye to the wretches as we climbed up the hill towards the road. We camped out at the storm drain way longer than normal until I saw the bullies leave. And back we went to the twisty slide, so my son could have HIS TURN.