Saying Goodbye

My son has started coming to the window of his classroom to wave goodbye to me as I drive past. There is a set of small wooden stairs that a teacher will put under the window and then they open it for him. I pull to the side of the entrance road and open the passenger window so I can wave and call out to him. It's super sweet, but it's almost twice as hard to leave him now because I have to tear myself away from him twice: once in the classroom and again as I drive away from the window. This morning the teachers were busy so there were no stairs to climb and no open window for me to call "I love you!" through. There was only his little head bouncing up over the window sill as he jumped up and down trying to see me and his little hand waving goodbye.

I hate leaving him. I hate that I have to leave him to go to a job I don't care about. I work because I have to in order to keep a roof over our heads and food on our plates. Maybe it would be easier to leave him if I was going to do something worthwhile or interesting, but my position is almost entirely unnecessary. I spend all day waiting to see him, then our evening goes by in a flash, and suddenly it's bedtime. I never want it to be bedtime because it means our time together is over for another day. I can't wait for him to wake up in the morning so I can hug him and kiss him and hear him laugh for a few minutes before we rush off to school and work. There is never enough time together.

One night when I was tucking him in and he wasn't feeling well I told him "I am always, always right here if you need me." It has become one of the things we repeat to each other before saying goodnight most nights. This morning he said it over and over in the car on the way to school. Always, little buddy. Always.

Currently

Eating: I meal-prepped four lunches for this week: white rice, frozen veggies (two days of broccoli, then two days of brussel sprouts), and two hard boiled eggs for the first three days. Tomorrow I'll eat a frozen pot pie.

Watching: Salvation, a new summer drama on CBS. I was hooked after only a few minutes of the pilot. Hopefully the second episode is equally captivating.

Reading: Nothing! Well, only because I finished the book I was reading (French by Heart by Rebecca Ramsey) on lunch. I will start a new (as yet undetermined) book tomorrow.

Listening: I listened to my first ever podcast, Literaticast. (About: Literary Agent Jennifer Laughran and her friends dish about the world of Children's Publishing.) Podcasts have never appealed to me, but I was sorting through old papers at work, and figured I'd give it a whirl.

Playing: In the pool. And by pool I mean one of the bright blue plastic kiddie pools. Only my son doesn't get in it. He uses it to scoop water out of using vessels of all different sizes and materials.

Saying: "Don't touch. Just look at it." At which point my son waves at whatever item we are referring to and says hi.

Laughing at: My son singing "Slippery Fish" 87 times in a row.

Loving: Spending my lunch hours outside every day. Seeing my son's language skills develop. Eating ice cream.

Looking forward to: October

What are you up to these days?

Lunchtime Reading

The bench I usually sit on during lunch is in dappled sunlight, which is still too much sun for me when it is hot out. Today I varied my walking route and happened upon a charming spot in FULL SHADE. The only downside being the noise from a nearby building (air system? fans? I dunno, but SO LOUD). The other minor issue was that the bench itself is falling apart. Twice while I was sitting on it, one end of the seat dropped several inches. Oh well, charm and shade are more important than stability, right?

Friday Five

1. We've been purging at the office. Now that I've been in my current position for a full year I finally feel comfortable deciding what I need to keep and what I DO NOT. The ladies that staffed the office previously were of the print-every-email variety. The oldest one I disposed of yesterday was from 3/15/99. They also printed off our website for crying out loud. Now if only I could translate some of this energy to my house...
2. I haven't been meal prepping my lunches because I can't possibly use the oven when it's already 77 degrees inside the house (or hotter!). But I need to come up with cheaper alternatives to buying five frozen meals a week. And it can't involve peanut butter because that's what my son and I eat for lunch every Saturday and Sunday.
3. I have many times mentioned my love of Le Tour de France on this blog, but this may well be the least I've watched it in countless years. I'm averaging 5-10 minutes a day, which is far from satisfying, but the only way I could watch more is to stay up later and NOPE, not gonna happen. I need my sleep.
4. Cute/funny things my son has said/done recently: 
1. The other day, as we approached the playground he said, "Hi playground. What are you doing, playground?"
2. "Look at the tiny, little bird!" He said, while pointing at a butterfly.
3. He routinely tries to grab things out of books. He gets upset as his little fingers scrabble across the page, "Grab it! Grab it!"
5. He is all of a sudden on a Thomas kick. I don't know who to blame for this (his school? his father?), but I am not pleased with this development. Yes, it's certainly the lesser of evils when it comes to cartoons (gak!), but it's tedious. I actually enjoy Daniel Tiger, and I cannot say the same for Thomas.

Friday Five

Five random things:

1. I finally cleared off the coffee table and matching end tables that I want to get rid of. I moved them to the garage and posted their availability online. But no takers, so now I have to figure out some other way to get rid of them as I can't fit them in my car to take to the donation center. It's sad when you can't even give away perfectly good furniture. 
2. I used a lot of vacation time in June to avoid losing it before the end of our fiscal year. Because of that I had more naptime than usual to watch TV, so I got all caught up on my recorded shows and even watched a few movies. Movie watching is tricky because each movie has to be spread over at least two days, and not always two consecutive days. For example, on Tuesday I started watching Snowden, but I likely won't be able to finish it until nap tomorrow (Saturday). Other movies I've watched recently include: The Scorch Trials, The Giver, and The Martian. I enjoyed all of them and look forward to watching two more I have recorded on the DVR at some point. It has been years since movie watching was a regular part of my life.
3. The other night I was sitting on the couch watching a few minutes of Le Tour de France while waiting for my son to settle down so I could take my nightly shower. I heard something and peaked out the curtains. The noise was just my across the street neighbors, but as I determined that I saw a little flash of light and then another. Fireflies! I know this sounds crazy, but I had kinda forgotten all about fireflies. I have not been outside my house after 7:30pm in more than 27 months. It's strange to think of everything going on out there in the rest of the world. Like fireflies!
4. The town I live in picks up yard waste every other week. All yard waste must be in a container or tied in bundles (no piles of stuff). I put out 3 full trash cans on Wednesday and refilled two already just yesterday. I need pick up every other DAY or a brush hog or a chain saw or I don't even know. It's out of control.
5. After SO MUCH RAIN we've had a stretch of dry (but humid, can't win 'em all) days and it's been glorious.

2017 To-Do List: June

1. Rearrange/clean the family room to make it a usable space 
1. Move books down there to make it a library/family room?
2. Get rid of items we don't use and/or don't like 
1. clothes
2. furniture
3. kitchenware
3. Read at least 24 books - 16/24 *
4. Develop a system to ensure bills get paid in a timely fashion DONE **
5. Hang wall art 
6. Hang some sort of window treatment (curtains? blinds?) in family room DONE - 3/19/2017
7. Blog at least once a week - 25/52 
8. Purchase new bras
9. Purchase new underwear DONE - 2/5/2017
10. Go on a date
11. Go swimming, preferably in a natural body of water
12. Take my son camping in a tent in the woods for at least one night
13. Frame a picture of my son for my desk at work DONE - 1/17/2017
14. Go to the Adirondacks
15. Take my son to the zoo DONE - 1/14/2017
16. Install anti-tip straps on the TV
17. Open a 529 account for my son DONE - 3/8/2017
18. Visit Second Home Nature Center at least once a month - 6/12 ***

* I only read two books in June, but I'm still in no danger of missing my mark with this goal.

** I think I am ready to say that I have successfully implemented a system for paying my bills in a timely fashion (something I've always struggled with). In my planner I make a note to pay each bill on the Sunday that falls before it is due (with enough time for payment to clear when applicable). I use florescent pink ink because it stands out and is not a color I would gravitate to for any other usage. I pay the bills that are due during nap on Sunday and check off each item in my planner. Simple, but it seems to be working.

*** We went to the nature center twice in June.