Sunday, June 22, 2008

Too much of a good thing

Sometimes I feel sorry for myself. Sad about being alone, even when I know it is my choice. Most of the time, though, I love being alone. Most of the time I am happy that it's just me and the dogs.

It was so nice to come home to a quiet house tonight. There was no one being petty and mean, no one calling me names when they think I'm out of earshot. I may not have a single person that puts me first in this world, but I also don't have a house full of people that put me down.

Sometimes there's nothing wrong with being alone. Nothing at all.


Stacy said...

I know the feeling.I love being alone too - I like how independent I am - but there are days that I hate it - that I miss being surrounded by my family. As much as I complained about it - looking back even though we were dysfunctional I loved it - and now that those dynamics are gone (my parents just recently got divorced) I miss it all.

I also think I am too selective about my friends - I only allow myself to get close to a select few - and when they let me down - it really hurts and I seclude even further into myself - and that happened to me just recently - I enjoy being alone until moments like that. When someone I trust lets me down and I have to be alone instead of wanting to be alone.

Sorry for the crazy long comment - your post just really hit the nail on the head about how i have been feeling lately. I shouldn't feel alone though - because I'm not - at all. I have my wonderful husband who is behind me and supporting me - even on days when I am sad for myself for being alone - despite obviously being with him - taking him for granted.

I just see what other people have - great relationships with their mothers, sisters and their girl friends - and I want that. I have a mother, sister and girl friends - but I don't have that - the people who I should be able to count on are the people who 9 times out of 10 won't answer my call. Makes me wonder what is wrong with me - I know it isn't me - but sometimes it feels like it.

Stacy said...

wow - ok that is one long comment. I think it is longer than your post - haha! Sorry! LOL. I am all reflective tonight apparently. :)

Smellyann said...

Has someone been mean to you, calling you names??? :( I hope not, lemme at 'em.

I loved living by myself, too, just me and ma dog (and then the kitty). So much freedom, so little answering to anyone else. Ahhhh, enjoy some of it for me.

Stephanie said...

i wish i was just me and the dog

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

I lived alone for 20 years and I really loved it and now that I am with a family, I sometimes (often) wish I were still alone! :-(

Other times I am happy for the loving.