Student: Is this really you? [Like several others, this student has expressed repeated interest in my college ID which I wear around my neck*.]
Me: It is. [Why else would I be wearing it, you little fool?]
Student: Then you need to fix your hair and get some glasses**. [Score: student 1, teacher 0.]
* Not my idea. The school requires it.
** I was broke at the time the photo was taken and couldn't afford contacts.