Thursday, December 07, 2006

Outsider Again

During my first semester at Small Green School I felt like an outsider.

I was commuting from home as a non-matriculated undergrad after withdrawing from Boston University. All the kids in my classes had already had a semester together to bond.

I took four classes that semester and didn't make a single friend.

The next year I matriculated and made friends with the incoming freshmen. As a result, throughout my college career, the majority of my friends were a year behind me.

My experience this semester has been reminiscent of that first semester at Small Green School. I've felt like an outsider in a class full of first year grad students, virtually the only person left silent during downtime. In addition, it turns out that some of the girls in my class are as snarky as high schoolers. Shouldn't they have outgrown that by now?

Not only has this class made me less inclined towards Library Science, it has also made me appreciate how lucky I was to have had the experience I had at Small Green School. It leads me to wonder if I were to pursue graduate work there if I would find the environment to be as hospitable a second time around.


Sara said...

I'm not sure snarkiness is something you can outgrow.

I suspect you were somewhat of an outsider this semester because of your part-time status, and a similar situation might occur at Small Green if you were part time there. The full-timers just spend so much more time together they might come off as cliquish without even meaning to. As an undergraduate, living at home was a big issue, but I don't think living arrangements have so much consequence for grad students.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

I agree--some people are snarky til they die. And I was an odd graduate student at Small Green --I switched over halfway through my senior year (gradauted early) BUT had the advantage of knowing both undergrads I'd been with and grad teaching assistants, so I had built-in friends.

If I can make a single friend, I'm happy. Then I feel connected.