Monday, October 30, 2006

My neighbors, the pod people

I really dislike coming home in the near dark to discover that our yard is practically the only one in our neighborhood that hasn't been raked within an inch of its life.

We had strong wind with gusts over 50 mph this past weekend. When I left for work this morning every yard was strewn with leaves and sticks. Somehow, while my fiance and I were working, everyone else in the neighborhood found the time to clean their yards. The gremlin next door went so far as to blow the leaves on our side about 8 feet back from his chain link fence. Why didn't he just blow them in a big old pile by the side of the road for us if he was going to go to all that effort?

Yesterday, as we pulled out of the driveway, I happened to glance in his direction (something I rarely do for fear of the dreaded Direct Eye Contact) to see him heave an armful of sticks that he'd been picking up in his yard over the fence into ours. I am so ready not to live next to these people. How do they all lead lives that allow them to spend so much time grooming their freakishly uniform yards?

Am I really supposed to go out there in the dark after work to rake leaves and pick up sticks? Not bloody likely, my friends.


BerryBird said...

Is there still a high proportion of retired people in that neighborhood? Well, it's transitioning now, retired folks and young families, right? Anyway, the thing about retired folks is they don't work. Makes it easier to obsess endlessly about the lawn. The poor working stiffs are off the hook until the weekend. Raking in the dark just doesn't seem human.

And as for the Gremlin neighbor next door. I can think of a thing or two you could throw over his fence in the dark.

a/k/a Nadine said...


What a fabulous idea. Of course, he'd know we were responsible...

Repressed Librarian said...

I think raking leaves is highly overrated.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

What a mean person throwing sticks over your fence. I wonder if he did that to Margaret when she lived there.

BerryBird said...

How would he know you were responsible? I was thinking you'd take a shovel, scoop of some of those golden retriever turds, and heave them over the fence. As long as you do it up by the road, he'd have no way to know it was you and not the lazy owners of the hapless dog.

Plus, they sort of deserve to be framed. Karmic payback, X2. And I'm sure Mark would be happy to help with the unsavory details.