Wednesday, November 20, 2013


I'm feeling particularly crappy today. Not just physically from still being sick, but mentally and emotionally as well. I'd been hoping for/counting on something happening for the last three months that didn't pan out. It was a kick in the teeth. Extremely disappointing.

Because of this I don't feel much like writing anything new, so I will share something I wrote in the past. It was written in response to other stories posted on Cowbird. 


I actually like getting advice. When I have a problem there is nothing I would like more than for someone to tell me how to solve it. I am happy to hear any and all suggestions.

While it's nice to hear "that sucks," I would rather hear a response that shows the listener has considered my situation, reflected on it, and has thoughtful suggestions. I think giving advice can be a GENEROUS act because the person has taken the time to think it through.

Even if I am not able to put the advice into action, I want to hear it.

There are always exceptions to this, of course. I find advice given by someone who presumes to be an expert on a subject that they have no personal experience in to be a nuisance.


This was originally posted on August 18, 2012 on Cowbird when I was trying that website on for size. I found we didn't make a good match and only posted a handful of "stories" there. Here is another one I've shared previously: Low Maintenance 


Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

I too appreciate HELPFUL advice, especially when I am learning something new or don't know how to do something, or have a real conundrum. But so much of the advice that I get seems to be of another variety--the holier than thou, I'm like God and yr really stupid type, which a deeply resent.

I'm sorry your hopes did not pan out, deeply sorry. I kind of know what that's been like for me, and I haven't liked it much. :-(

a/k/a Nadine said...

Thank you.

I just wish someone could say, do this or this and your life will be much better. Maybe I should see a therapist or get a life coach. Or something.