Because of this I don't feel much like writing anything new, so I will share something I wrote in the past. It was written in response to other stories posted on Cowbird.
I actually like getting advice. When I have a problem there is nothing I would like more than for someone to tell me how to solve it. I am happy to hear any and all suggestions.
While it's nice to hear "that sucks," I would rather hear a response that shows the listener has considered my situation, reflected on it, and has thoughtful suggestions. I think giving advice can be a GENEROUS act because the person has taken the time to think it through.
Even if I am not able to put the advice into action, I want to hear it.
There are always exceptions to this, of course. I find advice given by someone who presumes to be an expert on a subject that they have no personal experience in to be a nuisance.
While it's nice to hear "that sucks," I would rather hear a response that shows the listener has considered my situation, reflected on it, and has thoughtful suggestions. I think giving advice can be a GENEROUS act because the person has taken the time to think it through.
Even if I am not able to put the advice into action, I want to hear it.
There are always exceptions to this, of course. I find advice given by someone who presumes to be an expert on a subject that they have no personal experience in to be a nuisance.
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This was originally posted on August 18, 2012 on Cowbird when I was trying that website on for size. I found we didn't make a good match and only posted a handful of "stories" there. Here is another one I've shared previously: Low Maintenance
2 comments:
I too appreciate HELPFUL advice, especially when I am learning something new or don't know how to do something, or have a real conundrum. But so much of the advice that I get seems to be of another variety--the holier than thou, I'm like God and yr really stupid type, which a deeply resent.
I'm sorry your hopes did not pan out, deeply sorry. I kind of know what that's been like for me, and I haven't liked it much. :-(
Thank you.
I just wish someone could say, do this or this and your life will be much better. Maybe I should see a therapist or get a life coach. Or something.
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